Feeling a little...I don't know...dead maybe?

I'm lost. I want to do this too. Just like Kendi. And no...I don't mean become a zombie. It's just that...this zombie girl I took a photo of a couple of weeks ago has the exact expression on her face of how I felt when I read Kendi's blog post.

I wonder how she can do it...how can she afford to quit her job and do the things that she has always wanted to do, just hasn't actually took the plunge until now? AND she is 5 years younger than me. Shouldn't I have had this worked out by now?? Shouldn't I be ahead of the game on this one?? The one glaring difference is I have a child...so I do have to make sure he is fed, watered and paid for. And the more important factor is that she has talent - she can write, she has a great blog, great outfit photos, has been in lookbooks and websites...Ok ok so she is like eons past me on doing what she wants and making it happen and looking good doing it. But THAT isn't the point. Of course I am jealous in all the good ways for sure!!!!! But sheesh I have got to figure out a way to get out of the corporate rat race that I find no creativity in whatsoever and get out and live life. I seem to forget about it for a while and go on with life, especially when I am busy with actual life, like moving or something and I don't think about it. Then I get reminded when I see someone doing some really awesome things. Hmm. I think I may have to come up with an actual solid plan. What? Yes. An actual plan with actual goals and a this thing called a timeline. Savings and paying things off. To where I can work at a job that pays a hell of a lot less because it is more creative, more interesting, more down right FUN to do. Fashion...photography...florist...shop owner...baker...candlestick maker...this is probably me whining and complaining about what I can't be. Exactly what Kendi said she couldn't do anymore.