Oct 28, 2010

Feeling a little...I don't know...dead maybe?

I'm lost. I want to do this too. Just like Kendi. And no...I don't mean become a zombie. It's just that...this zombie girl I took a photo of a couple of weeks ago has the exact expression on her face of how I felt when I read Kendi's blog post.
I wonder how she can do it...how can she afford to quit her job and do the things that she has always wanted to do, just hasn't actually took the plunge until now? AND she is 5 years younger than me. Shouldn't I have had this worked out by now?? Shouldn't I be ahead of the game on this one?? The one glaring difference is I have a child...so I do have to make sure he is fed, watered and paid for. And the more important factor is that she has talent - she can write, she has a great blog, great outfit photos, has been in lookbooks and websites...Ok ok so she is like eons past me on doing what she wants and making it happen and looking good doing it. But THAT isn't the point. Of course I am jealous in all the good ways for sure!!!!! But sheesh I have got to figure out a way to get out of the corporate rat race that I find no creativity in whatsoever and get out and live life. I seem to forget about it for a while and go on with life, especially when I am busy with actual life, like moving or something and I don't think about it. Then I get reminded when I see someone doing some really awesome things. Hmm. I think I may have to come up with an actual solid plan. What? Yes. An actual plan with actual goals and a this thing called a timeline. Savings and paying things off. To where I can work at a job that pays a hell of a lot less because it is more creative, more interesting, more down right FUN to do. Fashion...photography...florist...shop owner...baker...candlestick maker...this is probably me whining and complaining about what I can't be. Exactly what Kendi said she couldn't do anymore.

5 comments:

cococricketsmama said...

agh, I'm sorry. I've felt that way before. It's an awful feeling. I hope things turn uo for you, maybe go talk to a vareer advisor, go back to school, take a floral design class, etc.
Hugs!!

One Girl said...

You're right! Maybe a class will help....I just might sign up for that sewing class that I seem to keep missing every couple of months...

Emily, Ruby Slipper Traveller said...

I have this sort of crisis every few months... While I would say it will pass, it's probably not a bad idea to make some plans either! Then you can feel you're working towards freedom. And never mind Kendi, not all of us can have uber successful blogs. I'm sure you can succeed in something interesting to you and get out of the rat race!

zen said...

i think the first step in getting where you want is recognizing where you are. You do have an interesting blog, you do write stuff people want to read and you do it all while maintaining a sweet little bug of a boy. You feel you should be farther along in your dreams? Maybe you're right where you should be, poised to take the plunge or baby step. We're behind you, Jess.

One Girl said...

thanks Emily & zen - it is definitely good to get positive feedback. Maybe I am where I should be...maybe I need to push myself. Maybe I'm scared...all in all it is good to get the feelings out there and listen to some good advice. thanks!!!!

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