Sep 29, 2009

Today is very Fall-ish

I want to be outside today. Funny thing is, the Fall season is not a close friend of mine. Fall is more like one of those friends that I used to work with and when I see them at the grocery store instead of trying to look extremely interested in the ingredients of potted meat, I have to stop and chat because it would be terribly rude if I didn't. Not to mention that if I didn't speak, they would quickly race back to work to maliciously tell everyone about how I horribly I had let myself go. Geez, thanks Fall. Therefore, I must embrace fall as much as I can muster. I am cold all of the time- inside or out- so why not be cold outside even more? I have gained a few pounds - why not hide it under a woolly poncho?

Let's see...pumpkins are cool, chocolate is tasty, yum...this may work. I will fight the pesky melancholy feeling that creeps up inside my nose when I smell the leaves and the damp, cold ground. I will survive knowing that I have made it through another season of my life. I am older, wiser and more aware of myself. Fall is the reset button of the year.

Sep 23, 2009

Keep Your Eyes Off My Lunch, Weirdo

It never fails. She comes by and looks at my lunch every day. Hovers over my lunch is more like it. She offers her invaluable opinions about my chosen meal and what she thinks is important for me to hear...while I'm chewing. Yes. That's right, while I'm chewing. She even asks me questions. Not particularly rude questions, but still, these questions seem to burrow under my epidermis and squirm around causing my temperature to rise. Therefore disturbing my time of digestion. I do take my food seriously and I am a very open minded eater. I love to eat everything. I do not discriminate. Occasionally I will have a very smelly Indian meal that might cause one to stop, sniff and stare. I realize that. And I am asking for it when I bring a steamy, curry meal back to my desk. But does she have to stop and stare at my Lean Cuisine lasagna? PB&J? Is this new to her? Is she hungry? No. The answer is no to all of those questions. This is someone who has an affliction, a disease rather.

I will call her Crazy Lunch Ogler Lady. And will give her long, cold stares when she comes near my food.

Sep 1, 2009

Uncool Mom

I was at the park last night with my son helping him go across the monkey bars. I'm holding him up and he is grabbing one bar after the other successfully making his way all the way across. Woohoo! He felt like he was on top of the world. Then I say, "Wanna see Mommie do it?!" I get a big "YAY" and a happy face from the little guy! I am full of pride and satisfaction while I am getting ready to provide him with motherly advice and show him everything I know.

I couldn't even make it to the second bar.

I look at my son - he's bored and has already given up on me.

When did this happen? When did I lose all my monkey bar abilities?

The Devil is in the Mail

I don't really desire McDonalds for lunch or dinner. Unfortunately, I do love the breakfast grub. To tell the truth I think the real deal with my McDonalds breakfast addiction is 3/4 avoiding going to work and 1/4 hunger. Fortunately, I have decided that I need to quit trying to button my jeans using a rubberband and go on a diet. I ate what I wanted to over the weekend and knew that come Monday morning I was checking into my own personal rehab.

The funny thing is when I looked through my mail Monday (D-Day) morning before going to work I see this coupon book from McDonalds. Great! Only THE most delicious bacon, egg and cheese biscuit plastered on the front and these serious coupons inside where I can basically get this food for like a penny. I think the USPS and all that is evil has gathered round to torture me.

Good Morning

Here's me: "Good morning"
Here's the other chick: "Hey! Good morning!" slight pause "You look pretty today, TIRED, but pretty"
Here's me: "Thanks. I strive for that look of an even balance between "a battered homeless woman and a tanorexic bulemic botox whore"