This Man Named Brian

I should tell you a little bit about why I love this man Brian. He means so much to me and I want to share my happiness with the world. He unselfishly and kindly takes my outfit photos and listens to my little bits of "this and thats" without a sour face. I new when I met him that there was something special about him. We were friends for a long time and then we blossomed into lovers. He is the sweetest most gentlest man I have ever known. There are so so many things I love about him...I love how he is exceptionally talented at camping and building the perfect campground. He has all of the bells and whistles that make it seem like a pioneered homestead in the middle of the forest. I love that he rides a motorcycle and looks so good doing it! He has big thick shoulders and is amazingly tall. He has a beautiful smile and sea green eyes. I feel in awe when he goes on his solo rides for days. I love how he enjoys live theatre. I love how he is willing to try any new food from any country at any time. I love how we can agree on any restaurant at any time. He is ready to go at a drop of a hat if I say "so and so just called - can we go?". He has taught me a lot about love and a lot about patience. He has seen me switch moods, whine, become intensely frustrated and has remained steady and strong. He reaches to kiss me and dips me low and deep. I love how he automatically knows that we take my car on a night when I don't want my hair to blow in the jeep. I love his jeep. I love how he likes to take me on long rides to nowhere on a Sunday afternoon. I love that he went to a fashion show with me. I love that he cares so much for his son and has been a successful single father. I love how he likes to watch documentaries after documentaries with me. I love how he is spontaneous and surprises me as to where we are going whether it be a few miles down the road or the next town over. He once pulled over in the jeep while we were driving on a long hot ride just so I could have some shade for a bit. He knows of the neatest spots and most romantic little places. I love this man and I cherish him like a hidden treasure that I have uncovered and keep close to me at all times. Thank you Brian, for being a extraordinary man.

Missing

Happy Bastille Day. Happy birthday to a friend that is long left my life.

My dream last night was filled with excitement. It was her wedding day. She was wearing traditional wedding dress of Eastern India and her husband-to-be had a large circle of flowers around his neck. She was beautiful. Just like I remembered her in high school. She had big almond shaped eyes and mocha skin. She was talking to me and telling me she was getting married that day. And could I help her. Of course, of course. I couldn't believe she was asking me. I was thrilled to be reunited just in time for her wedding. In a brief moment, we were back in the halls of our old high school. Plans were being made, ideas were being told to me. I wanted to be involved in all of the bridesmaid hoopla. I was asking her question after question. She was calm and well organized. The wedding had already begun. Someone in charge was whispering "They've started too early! No!" People dressed in fancy frocks with worried looks on their faces were pushing and shoving to get into the event. I was sitting on left of the high school gym watching her hold the hands of the groom while saying her vows. She was smiling. For the rest of the dream I tried frantically to keep up with her. To talk to her. Then, I was asked to go up to the podium and make a speech about her. I got up there and remember looking down, choking back tears. I knew what I wanted to say, I just could not get the words to come out. My voice crackled and I said "Nita and I...." I wanted to say that we had been friends forever. But we haven't. I lost her after high school.

This morning when I got in the car, the radio voiced told me it was French Bastille Day. July 14th.

Today is her birthday.

Nita, I wish you a beautiful birthday. Wherever you are....

Today is very Fall-ish

I want to be outside today. Funny thing is, the Fall season is not a close friend of mine. Fall is more like one of those friends that I used to work with and when I see them at the grocery store instead of trying to look extremely interested in the ingredients of potted meat, I have to stop and chat because it would be terribly rude if I didn't. Not to mention that if I didn't speak, they would quickly race back to work to maliciously tell everyone about how I horribly I had let myself go. Geez, thanks Fall. Therefore, I must embrace fall as much as I can muster. I am cold all of the time- inside or out- so why not be cold outside even more? I have gained a few pounds - why not hide it under a woolly poncho?

Let's see...pumpkins are cool, yes...hot chocolate is tasty, yum...this may work. I will fight the pesky melancholy feeling that creeps up inside my nose when I smell the leaves and the damp, cold ground. I will survive knowing that I have made it through another season of my life. I am older, wiser and more aware of myself. Fall is the reset button of the year.