Downtown is KOOOKY

Its another hot one here in the office. Oh - have I told you the a/c is broken? Yeah. Well, I have resorted to being a whiny bitch about it. Its not like I've ever busted my ass at outdoor manual labor as a job. I wouldn't know where to begin. I have always worked inside a cooled building. (bless my heart) Which most of the time I bitch about being too cold. Actually, I haven't really said much about it over the last two weeks (that's how long its been) and how it has been 86 degrees in my office every day. Today it made it to 87. Pow! The pool of sweat below my chair is laughing at me. I wonder if I can siphon it and make a sweat sprinkler? Set it in front of the tiniest fan in the world - like the one right next to me - and make a cool mist blower. Invite coworkers over to my office to play in the sprinkler. We would frolic and laugh and jump. Then someone would ask "Hey! That's funny. You don't have a faucet in here. Where are you getting the cool mist?" I would say, "I think it's coming from the fire sprinkler. I'm not really all that sure." Anyway, one of the vendors came by about an hour ago and took us out for ice cream. The thing that kicked ass the most is that we went downtown to get it. Anytime I'm downtown, I'm a happy girl.
When we were riding in the sales van to get there one of the other girls made the classic jab at downtown that "its too weird' and "you have to be careful" and "don't leave us there". It made the green monsters in my frontal lobe agitated and I wanted to say, "no, it's cool" and "its culture, dummy" and "why don't stupid people see the beauty in art & architecture & creative people"??? Help me understand this crazy myth that people believe about downtown being a black hole that will molest them, sodomize them, handcuff them to a parking meter and force them to drink micro brews until they eat Thai food. I don't understand ignorance. Well, its something wrong with this particular person because on the way back to the office there was jazz on the radio and the vendor/rep said with this kind of music we should've gotten martinis instead of ice cream! Ha ha ha...salesman laugh. I, of course, was like 'Yeah! Right on!" And right before I could get that out of my mouth she quickly stopped him and said "No. I will just take a sweet tea."(hahaha conservative laugh)
He smartly said, "A long island iced sweet tea?" wink wink
(Me in my mind: HELL YEAH! Bring it.)
She says, "No. I've got only so many brain cells and I need all of them. I can't afford to lose any. And I've got 3 kids and need to be able to take care of them if they should call me in an instant."
Point taken.
BUT... And it's a BIG but...that point kind of sucks. I assume I will need to grow up here soon and live by those same rules. But I donwanna! Wah.
All in all, here is my take on her. She is a SUPER-conservative MEGA-republican christian who is afraid of downtown and hates alcohol. No shock there. And that's fine. To each his own. Just don't let your lives pass you by without experiencing your own home town in all of its beauty. And chill out and have a margarita once a year. Or don't.
Just give it to me. I will drink it in this office, that I really do love, that just happens to be 87 degrees.