new year

...Into the past, this flyspeck we call now

Be our true habitat? The present is

The leaky palm of water that we skim

From the swift, silent river slipping by.

The new year always brings us what we want

Simply by bringing us along—to see

A calendar with every day uncrossed,

A field of snow without a single footprint.

 

Excerpt from "New Year's" by Dana Gioia, from Interrogations at Noon. © Graywolf Press, 2001

 

 

I heard this poem being read this morning on the radio and it really struck me - especially about the part where the new year is a "calendar with every day uncrossed". Each day is an opportunity. I don't want to get all sappy and on a soap box about blah blah every minute and blah blah be happy all the time. It's more about experiencing your day. As a whole. I don't have to feel pressured to treasure every minute but I do need to LEARN and GROW from my DAYS. Because my days are numbered. I get reminded of this a lot when I am around my son. Especially when he is hugging me and telling me he loves me just out of the clear blue. A little thought sometimes pops in my head and tells me that one day, he will be an adult and won't be able to fit in my lap and may forget to tell me he loves me for months on end. That's the little moments. I don't necessarily need to cherish when I go to the coffee pot at work to get a refill. So that old "treasure each and every moment" is too much. Too much pressure. Too much to do. Makes me feel like I am failing. I prefer to look at the calendar, see the days are uncrossed, see the field of snow without a single footprint and begin the journey. This online journal is an outlet that has helped and is going to continue to help me document things that happen each day, things that don't, things that do, people that I love and people that love me. So hey, from me, to you and here's hoping you will have a great (althought sometimes stressful, crazy, uneventful, loving, intense, boring) day!!!